A great way to get out bloodstains: hydrogen peroxide.
What I have on my jeans right now: bloodstains.
What we don't have in the office first-aid kit: peroxide.
Damn.
-Bleeding Cunt Murphy
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Friday, August 3, 2007
Tonight's Episode of the Bloodening
Here is a sample of tonight's after-dinner conversation with my boyfriend, the Bear. (I shall call him that not because of some stupid, cutesy nickname like Pooh-Bear, but because he is truly ursine. He is furry and eats honey and berries for breakfast. I kid you not. We currently have over seven pounds of honey in our cabinets.) But I digress. Our conversation:
Me: Now, what are we going to do about this chocolate situation? As in there's no chocolate in my belly.
Him: But you just had ice cream.
Me: But I'm periodal. I need chocolate.
Him: Of course you do.
Me: I know! I'll have sprinkles on bread!
Him: ...
Me: Well, the Dutch do it all time. Of course I'm not Dutch, but whatever. It's a good custom.
-Bleeding Cunt Murphy
Me: Now, what are we going to do about this chocolate situation? As in there's no chocolate in my belly.
Him: But you just had ice cream.
Me: But I'm periodal. I need chocolate.
Him: Of course you do.
Me: I know! I'll have sprinkles on bread!
Him: ...
Me: Well, the Dutch do it all time. Of course I'm not Dutch, but whatever. It's a good custom.
-Bleeding Cunt Murphy
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Worst. Period. Ever.
Okay, I think it's a commonly acknowledged fact that sex gets paused during one's period (or the bloodening, as I like to call it). Thus, by the conclusion of the bloodening, one tends to want to sex very badly. Chair-humpingly badly.
This was the ordeal I faced several months ago:
I got my period. No biggie. But, within a day of the end of my period, I got a UTI. I freaking hate UTIs, but I get them...eh, once or twice a year. After some major hassles with good old Kaiser Permanente, I got the UTI treated. Still didn't feel quite right. Had my top two wisdom teeth pulled, for which the dentist put me on an antibiotic. Being on the antibiotic gave me a yeast infection. Tried treating that with over-the-counter crap. Didn't work. Used more OTC crap. Still didn't work. Went back to Kaiser. Got (successfully) treated.
The UTI was gone. The yeast infection was gone. My period was back.
-Bleeding Cunt Murphy
This was the ordeal I faced several months ago:
I got my period. No biggie. But, within a day of the end of my period, I got a UTI. I freaking hate UTIs, but I get them...eh, once or twice a year. After some major hassles with good old Kaiser Permanente, I got the UTI treated. Still didn't feel quite right. Had my top two wisdom teeth pulled, for which the dentist put me on an antibiotic. Being on the antibiotic gave me a yeast infection. Tried treating that with over-the-counter crap. Didn't work. Used more OTC crap. Still didn't work. Went back to Kaiser. Got (successfully) treated.
The UTI was gone. The yeast infection was gone. My period was back.
-Bleeding Cunt Murphy
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
the bond that will bring us together.
when i was much younger, the experience of having my period was usually one met with dread. it wasn't uncommon for me to be calling my mom from the front office at my high school, saying that i needed to go home sick. stranger still was that fact that, on several occasions, she'd wind up staying home sick, too.
ah, the magic of syncing up, right?
that time of the month where you and your mom are both feeling tender and bloated and crampy to the point at which the only medicine is to go home, crawl into mom's waterbed, and watch crappy daytime tv. where, the whole week before, you were both pmsing so badly that you were fighting like cats and dogs and your dad had to sit down with you individually and calm you both down so that you could finally be civil to each other.
funny that, after going through something that awful, a week later, there i'd be, needing my mom, and she'd be right there for me.
i have to admit, though at the time i was feeling miserable, it wasn't all that bad, having a mom whose period-having experience was so similar to mine. though at first it was certainly strange, we eventually learned how to bond over it. we'd never really had much in common before, at least not to that point, and this was something my dad clearly wasn't going to understand. in fact, i would say that this was the first time in my life where she was all i had. given that i'd never looked very much like her when i was a kid and our interests were SO completely different, it was a welcome change, finally having a point of reference with her. i was so obviously my father's daughter that a large part of me worried. worried about . . . when am i going to belong to my mom? and then, there it was. and it was like all the things about her that i didn't understand before started making sense because i'd finally started going through them all, too.
when i moved away for college, i recall discovering very quickly just how much i'd come to rely on her and just how similar we are; she really did know what it was i was going through, and she really did understand. funny how all those, "you just don't understand!" speeches were so easily invalidated as soon as i was no longer at home. in fact, it was quite the opposite. she always seemed to know just the right thing to say when i might be going through a difficult time. she knew that i was struggling with discovering myself and becoming a woman, and i could tell that she was very proud of me for trying my hardest to take it on full-force. but i don't think she necessarily knows that it was because of those times when i was still living at home when i would know that she was experiencing the exact same thing i was that really made me feel that lasting connection with her. it was in those times that, without realizing it, she and i were both truly at the mercy of our womanhood. how fortunate that, in those times, we could rely on each other as we did.
as we've grown closer over the years and i've gradually mellowed out, the average length of our phone calls has increased at a fairly steady rate. it's practically impossible for us to speak without at least an hour disappearing as if it was nothing. i call tell her pretty much everything, and she seems to be on the same page. we laugh and cry and . . . yeah, all that mother daughter stuff . . . and i know why. see, there's no doubt in my mind that, all those times in high school, she and i in that warm bed, watching rosie o'donnell and giggling like little girls while waiting for the crampiness to subside is exactly what brought me to my relationship with her today. those were the times when we couldn't be anything but ourselves, and i learned that she's the reason i'm silly and nerdy and weird . . . in the best ways possible. and so, i feel terribly lucky to be able to call her one of my very best friends. because now i really do see myself refelcted in her.
i guess that means that i'm finally my mother's daughter, too.
~e.
ah, the magic of syncing up, right?
that time of the month where you and your mom are both feeling tender and bloated and crampy to the point at which the only medicine is to go home, crawl into mom's waterbed, and watch crappy daytime tv. where, the whole week before, you were both pmsing so badly that you were fighting like cats and dogs and your dad had to sit down with you individually and calm you both down so that you could finally be civil to each other.
funny that, after going through something that awful, a week later, there i'd be, needing my mom, and she'd be right there for me.
i have to admit, though at the time i was feeling miserable, it wasn't all that bad, having a mom whose period-having experience was so similar to mine. though at first it was certainly strange, we eventually learned how to bond over it. we'd never really had much in common before, at least not to that point, and this was something my dad clearly wasn't going to understand. in fact, i would say that this was the first time in my life where she was all i had. given that i'd never looked very much like her when i was a kid and our interests were SO completely different, it was a welcome change, finally having a point of reference with her. i was so obviously my father's daughter that a large part of me worried. worried about . . . when am i going to belong to my mom? and then, there it was. and it was like all the things about her that i didn't understand before started making sense because i'd finally started going through them all, too.
when i moved away for college, i recall discovering very quickly just how much i'd come to rely on her and just how similar we are; she really did know what it was i was going through, and she really did understand. funny how all those, "you just don't understand!" speeches were so easily invalidated as soon as i was no longer at home. in fact, it was quite the opposite. she always seemed to know just the right thing to say when i might be going through a difficult time. she knew that i was struggling with discovering myself and becoming a woman, and i could tell that she was very proud of me for trying my hardest to take it on full-force. but i don't think she necessarily knows that it was because of those times when i was still living at home when i would know that she was experiencing the exact same thing i was that really made me feel that lasting connection with her. it was in those times that, without realizing it, she and i were both truly at the mercy of our womanhood. how fortunate that, in those times, we could rely on each other as we did.
as we've grown closer over the years and i've gradually mellowed out, the average length of our phone calls has increased at a fairly steady rate. it's practically impossible for us to speak without at least an hour disappearing as if it was nothing. i call tell her pretty much everything, and she seems to be on the same page. we laugh and cry and . . . yeah, all that mother daughter stuff . . . and i know why. see, there's no doubt in my mind that, all those times in high school, she and i in that warm bed, watching rosie o'donnell and giggling like little girls while waiting for the crampiness to subside is exactly what brought me to my relationship with her today. those were the times when we couldn't be anything but ourselves, and i learned that she's the reason i'm silly and nerdy and weird . . . in the best ways possible. and so, i feel terribly lucky to be able to call her one of my very best friends. because now i really do see myself refelcted in her.
i guess that means that i'm finally my mother's daughter, too.
~e.
Thursday, June 14, 2007
A slice of chocolate cake...
Ahhh chocolate cake....so rich....so sweet...so full of satisfying deliciousness.
I would say that, under normal circumstances, I'm not much of a chocolate fiend. I promise that I'm not boring or anything like that. I've just always been more of a 'fruit-filled' kinda gal.
That is - unless I'm PMS'ing. Yes, that's correct boys and girls - I'm KP - and I'm a menstruating woman.
My first period happened when I was 9.5 years old. I know, right? Too young! But try telling my uterus these things.
The first sign of 'the coming of the crimson wave' for me: Tears! EVERYTHING hurts my feelings. Most of the time its very silly, meaningless things that set me off. Usually out of frustration or sadness. For example, I once sat on the toilet seat and cried for an hour because I ran out of toothpaste! Like I said - silly. This mood shift usually occurs 3-4 days before I start bleeding.
The smell of my dirty panties is the next indicator of my coming blood. That sort of....handsoap meets post-sex meets metallic scent that, for the most part, I'm only aware of. I tend to change my underwear twice at day during this time, and shower more frequently as well. Call me what you will! Clean-freak or no - I just don't enjoy stank.
I can usually tell how severe a particular period is going to be by the cramps that follow this smell. There are days when I'm only able to get my posture to a 45 degree angle...much like a hunchback (minus the hump). Then comes the blood....
It has taken me many, many years to master the art of 'non-leakage'. Any woman that bleeds will have a horror story about a time they bled through their favorite pair of pants. This used to happen to me constantly...but - like most other women - I was able to get to know my body well enough to place preventative liners, use 'the other set' of panties, and wear dark clothing.
Yes - I believe I have a wealth of knowledge I can share about the joy of menstruation. Questions and comments are always welcome - as long as they're serious, and not of the "Ur s0 gr0ss" nature. I'm not gross. There are many, many like me.
Now, if you'll excuse me...the second half of this cake is calling. :D
-KP
I would say that, under normal circumstances, I'm not much of a chocolate fiend. I promise that I'm not boring or anything like that. I've just always been more of a 'fruit-filled' kinda gal.
That is - unless I'm PMS'ing. Yes, that's correct boys and girls - I'm KP - and I'm a menstruating woman.
My first period happened when I was 9.5 years old. I know, right? Too young! But try telling my uterus these things.
The first sign of 'the coming of the crimson wave' for me: Tears! EVERYTHING hurts my feelings. Most of the time its very silly, meaningless things that set me off. Usually out of frustration or sadness. For example, I once sat on the toilet seat and cried for an hour because I ran out of toothpaste! Like I said - silly. This mood shift usually occurs 3-4 days before I start bleeding.
The smell of my dirty panties is the next indicator of my coming blood. That sort of....handsoap meets post-sex meets metallic scent that, for the most part, I'm only aware of. I tend to change my underwear twice at day during this time, and shower more frequently as well. Call me what you will! Clean-freak or no - I just don't enjoy stank.
I can usually tell how severe a particular period is going to be by the cramps that follow this smell. There are days when I'm only able to get my posture to a 45 degree angle...much like a hunchback (minus the hump). Then comes the blood....
It has taken me many, many years to master the art of 'non-leakage'. Any woman that bleeds will have a horror story about a time they bled through their favorite pair of pants. This used to happen to me constantly...but - like most other women - I was able to get to know my body well enough to place preventative liners, use 'the other set' of panties, and wear dark clothing.
Yes - I believe I have a wealth of knowledge I can share about the joy of menstruation. Questions and comments are always welcome - as long as they're serious, and not of the "Ur s0 gr0ss" nature. I'm not gross. There are many, many like me.
Now, if you'll excuse me...the second half of this cake is calling. :D
-KP
Welcome to Rag Time
Welcome to our lil slice of internet heaven....our little crampy, moody, magical, bitchy, bloody slice of the internet called Rag Time.
Lets get a few things out of the way...
First of all who are we?
A collective of women who have decided to come together to write about our thoughts and experiences during PMS and menstruation.
Why are you doing this anonymously?
Because it gives us not only more freedom to talk openly without fear of being called nasty or whatever...but it also creates a sense of unity and bonding. What we feel is what all women experience on some level when they menstruate...so why tie it to an individual? The only thing that will signify who is writing a blog on here will be 2 initials...this could be first and last name, first and middle, or something completely made up. It will merely be a way for the readers to identify that different blogs are written by different people (since we all have very different writing styles)
Why the hell are you doing this?
Because we fucking want to thats why. This isn't about some feminist movement, its about making public what we all talk about with each other and think to ourselves in the hopes that it will make us feel better and maybe make some other women out there feel a bit better. Menstruation is a natural and beautiful thing that many societies once respected and honored, but now we are told to be ashamed of it and not to speak openly about it. I believe this sense of shame is partly why we get so bitchy during our periods...so if we can be open and talk about it, it might just relieve some of that emotional turmoil. Also, it might give guys a bit of insight as to what REALLY goes on when women are PMSing because frankly its not all about being bloody and bitchy. Hell, reading this might help them cope with some of the women in their lives making it easier for all of us.
The idea for this collective blog was actually the result of me PMSing at the moment. One thing that people often aren't aware of is the fact that when women PMS our bodies release signals telling us "hey its time to get your life together! get ready for a baby! clean the house! exercise! go back to school! etc." our bodies tell us to be productive when we PMS so as a result, women are often the most creative and motivated around that time. The idea for this collective blog was one of those beautiful power surges that I felt...and frankly I think its better than most of my PMS fueled ideas!
Should I really read this?
Only if you are okay with cursing and women talking about things like blood clots, farting, sex while bleeding, lost tampons, and other things that might make the weak of stomach squeamish. I'm giving you a warning now, this is going to be a no holds blog...the stuff we normally keep inside is going in here without censorship.
Well thats about all I can think of for now...you at least have the jist of what this blog is so take it or leave it ;)
-Ruby Flo
Lets get a few things out of the way...
First of all who are we?
A collective of women who have decided to come together to write about our thoughts and experiences during PMS and menstruation.
Why are you doing this anonymously?
Because it gives us not only more freedom to talk openly without fear of being called nasty or whatever...but it also creates a sense of unity and bonding. What we feel is what all women experience on some level when they menstruate...so why tie it to an individual? The only thing that will signify who is writing a blog on here will be 2 initials...this could be first and last name, first and middle, or something completely made up. It will merely be a way for the readers to identify that different blogs are written by different people (since we all have very different writing styles)
Why the hell are you doing this?
Because we fucking want to thats why. This isn't about some feminist movement, its about making public what we all talk about with each other and think to ourselves in the hopes that it will make us feel better and maybe make some other women out there feel a bit better. Menstruation is a natural and beautiful thing that many societies once respected and honored, but now we are told to be ashamed of it and not to speak openly about it. I believe this sense of shame is partly why we get so bitchy during our periods...so if we can be open and talk about it, it might just relieve some of that emotional turmoil. Also, it might give guys a bit of insight as to what REALLY goes on when women are PMSing because frankly its not all about being bloody and bitchy. Hell, reading this might help them cope with some of the women in their lives making it easier for all of us.
The idea for this collective blog was actually the result of me PMSing at the moment. One thing that people often aren't aware of is the fact that when women PMS our bodies release signals telling us "hey its time to get your life together! get ready for a baby! clean the house! exercise! go back to school! etc." our bodies tell us to be productive when we PMS so as a result, women are often the most creative and motivated around that time. The idea for this collective blog was one of those beautiful power surges that I felt...and frankly I think its better than most of my PMS fueled ideas!
Should I really read this?
Only if you are okay with cursing and women talking about things like blood clots, farting, sex while bleeding, lost tampons, and other things that might make the weak of stomach squeamish. I'm giving you a warning now, this is going to be a no holds blog...the stuff we normally keep inside is going in here without censorship.
Well thats about all I can think of for now...you at least have the jist of what this blog is so take it or leave it ;)
-Ruby Flo
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