A slice of chocolate cake...

Ahhh chocolate cake....so rich....so sweet...so full of satisfying deliciousness.

I would say that, under normal circumstances, I'm not much of a chocolate fiend. I promise that I'm not boring or anything like that. I've just always been more of a 'fruit-filled' kinda gal.

That is - unless I'm PMS'ing. Yes, that's correct boys and girls - I'm KP - and I'm a menstruating woman.

My first period happened when I was 9.5 years old. I know, right? Too young! But try telling my uterus these things.

The first sign of 'the coming of the crimson wave' for me: Tears! EVERYTHING hurts my feelings. Most of the time its very silly, meaningless things that set me off. Usually out of frustration or sadness. For example, I once sat on the toilet seat and cried for an hour because I ran out of toothpaste! Like I said - silly. This mood shift usually occurs 3-4 days before I start bleeding.
The smell of my dirty panties is the next indicator of my coming blood. That sort of....handsoap meets post-sex meets metallic scent that, for the most part, I'm only aware of. I tend to change my underwear twice at day during this time, and shower more frequently as well. Call me what you will! Clean-freak or no - I just don't enjoy stank.
I can usually tell how severe a particular period is going to be by the cramps that follow this smell. There are days when I'm only able to get my posture to a 45 degree angle...much like a hunchback (minus the hump). Then comes the blood....
It has taken me many, many years to master the art of 'non-leakage'. Any woman that bleeds will have a horror story about a time they bled through their favorite pair of pants. This used to happen to me constantly...but - like most other women - I was able to get to know my body well enough to place preventative liners, use 'the other set' of panties, and wear dark clothing.

Yes - I believe I have a wealth of knowledge I can share about the joy of menstruation. Questions and comments are always welcome - as long as they're serious, and not of the "Ur s0 gr0ss" nature. I'm not gross. There are many, many like me.

Now, if you'll excuse me...the second half of this cake is calling. :D

-KP